Cuddly Daddy and I talked over what to do next. I guess I’ve not been able to count to 10 (or 100!) very well lately, cos he admits that I do bear the main brunt of it all. I think the root cause of it is predominantly that he’s craving attention and daddy’s not been around. (mummy’s kinda boring u know lol).
So we decided to try this approach for a bit.
Don had a serious talk with him (it’s better from him at this stage) and they talked about how we don’t think he’s a bad boy at heart but we are worried about the lying/stealing/naughty behaviour of late. They talked about trust and what it means and how we really want to trust him, esp now he’s older but for now, you have to rebuild that trust. They discussed in what ways we can rebuild that trust.
So for this week, I will check his bag before and after school. Next week if his behaviour improves, we will only do spot checks. If his behaviour is good, he will get more privileges. This week, he will have no playground time at school and instead have to do either extra work or chores to help teacher.
I think he is more susceptible to peer pressre and I tell you, some of the toys etc that these kids have is exp and to me, not appropriate for kids. A PSP for goodness sake! So expensive and for a 6year old!!!!!!! They get teased cos they dont watch half of what the kids see or are allowed to watch. Josh will defend himself and say my mummy says Im not allowed to watch and that’s that. Jamie will whine at me and do the “I never get to have any fun!” line. (funny how tween/teen whining starts earlier!) I dont allow them to watch Batman (cos geez, that’s dark for ADULTS, let alone kids). Not every animation show is meant for kids. Im not as strict as my parents were but I’d rather do something else (although Im guilty of the occ TV babysitting!!). But these same kids dont get hugs and cuddles from parents, they have no interest in going out for exploration walks or doing crazy things by going to the park and trying to fly a kite etc. Even if I complain my kids are mall rats sometimes, they also enjoy doing this stuff. I think this is what they remember more than exp gifts etc. No value. no?
Having h ad a good talk with their teacher also helps us to think of ways to help them (not just j1). He’s such a bright fella who grasps concepts quickly but unfortunately boredom also sets in faster. Apparently he loves games, crossword puzzles, mazes etc so I think we will search for those (esp in BM, he needs help with that). I was telling d that I think we should set aside some time (mebbe sunday morning) to have a Family Game morning where each week someone chooses what game they want to play and we can do that. It’s something to do as a family as well as educational I guess. There’s apaprently scrabble in BM (EEK! lol) so have to cari.
We are also thinking of going away for a long weekend,just us as a family cos things have been so mad lately and d is working such long hours that it would be a nice bonding time 🙂
Whew! this is a long post. Im hoping this new approach (complimented by other things) will help!
Hafidz sent me this quote which I thought was perfect! “On your Drama King Saga entry, I just wanna repeat the quote found at the start of Lionel Shriver’s novel, “We Need to Talk About Kevin”:
A child needs your love most when he deserves it least. – Erma Bombeck”
Thanks Hafidz 🙂 Have to take it each day as it comes I guess. Fingers crossed!
Thanks to everyone for their support/suggestions!