This made my jaw drop today.

And it’s not politicians this time! HAHAHA

Daphne reviewed this book where the author says that a career is the ONLY way to go for a woman, staying at home for kids is a waste of time and for society pressures (society pressures you for EVERYTHING these days, us poor women- and men-).

Maybe some of you agree, who knows, it just get my goat. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. What am I talking about? the usual “stay at home mum” vs. “full time working mum”.
Yes, I’m an advocate for a stay at home PARENT (whether it’s mum or dad) and for them to have avenues also of income to do both. Stay at home doesn’t necessarily mean STUCK at home either. But you knowlah, malaysian thinking. I’ve had the full run of “what? you stay at home for the kids ah? Waste your expensive education wor!” “why, you housewife ah? You must be very free!” “Housewife ah? How you find things to do all day?” to folks actually turning away not to have a conversation with you cos they think b/c you’re a stay at home parent, you’ll have nothing to say about the country’s events, news, etc. Cos you know, being a SAHP makes you braindead.  Yes, I do believe that having a parent at home makes a BIG difference for the kids and their growing up and also their relationship with you.I can’t fathom those who leave their kids in another state (I’m talking fairly well to do folks) and only see them at w.ends or certain holidays all the time. Then they complain that they don’t know how to talk to their kid or how to handle them. Well, duh!

On the other spectrum,  I fully respect the right for those who want to maintain their careers, I mean it’s not easy being a stay at home parent, and it’s not for everyone.  Many may prefer being a working mum. That’s cool too. As daphne said, it should be about CHOICE. You should get the f ull support for whatever choice you make. It’s also about the quality of the time you do spend with your kids too. Acc to Ms. Bennetts (how can she have the same surname of my dear Lizzy from Pride and Prejudice), having a working mum teaches kids to be resourceful and independent. Well, err.. can’t stay at home parents do the same? Oh I forgot to mention that her reason(mostly) that women should keep working is just IN CASE hubby buggers off after he shags someone or another or he has the indecency to die on you, cos SAHMs have no income, no way of working etc (doesnt she make us sound so skill-less and unresourceful?).

She doesnt cover those who try and reach a happy medium, run their own biz, have flexitime or those who take precautions against any such happenings. Or even touch on the fact that hubbies may even (oh gasp!) take their own initiative to ensure the family are protected. There are always going to be sad cases where the women are left high and dry by the men in their lives. If you think ahead, perhaps it may not happen. There’s insurance, there’s prenuptials, there’s wills and divorce settlements, there’s owning your own biz, doing freelance. There are ways and resources should you chose to look for it.

this is what I do, Im trying to earn a side income so I have the flexibility to be there for my kids. There are going to be good days and bad days, that’s just part of life. I’m sure I’ll have the same if I was pursuing a career too. D’s doing the same, building up ways that he also has the flexitime to be there for his kids. Why can’t there be the same options in this country for parents (of either persuasion) to have flexitime etc for staying at home with their kids if they wish to? If a man wants to be at home for his kids, his wife prefers working or she has the larger salary, then why can’t he be at home without being ridiculed? and why are there men who insist their wife has to make sure she gets all dolled up for when they are home and dinner fresh (no matter what time they come home btw) on the table, despite the fact she’s being cooking, cleaning, looking after the kids all day?

I’m very lucky that I have a hubby who agrees with me being at home for the kids and although it can be a financial struggle, he believes in the long term it’s better for their development.  He pitches in with the kids and housework (I’m fortunate that I have a helper who comes in twice a week to do the heavy cleaning/ironing etc too! I’m not so super mum who can do it ALL, hehe) when he is around.Even if we were both working, why can’ t we both do the same?

I really wish our country could really move ahead (on SO MANY RESPECTS lol) on this flexitime, work from home option for families? (whether for kids or aged/ill parents/spouses). Why can’t we? If our quality of work is as required, we meet deadines, what’s the problem? Maybe cos we are brought up in the spoon fed, nanny state world now? I don’t know.

Ok lah, I quit ranting now. Read the review and see what YOU think!


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