I decided to write into the star (using their citizen’s blog) in response to that letter by CTH (mine isn’t going to be the first response prob. lol).
heres what I wrote in case it doesnt get approved:
Reading today’s Star brought a smile to my face and in turn gales of laughter. Why, you may ask? I read one particular letter addressing the “trend” of an increasing number of househusbands, claiming that wives must submit to husbands and that a househusband would irreparably damage the mind of a growing boy. I have to wonder (Im going to make an assumption myself by presuming the writer is male), how on earth he could come to this conclusion?
If a man helps out in the house, takes an active part in raising his kids, does this make him less of a man? Whether it’s some of the time, or full time, isn’t it good that he cares enough about his family to want to be there for them? I would say more power to them! It is hard enough trying to overcome many people’s perception of women homemakers (“lazy, nothing to do all day but sit around, wasting education etc”), more kudos to the males among us! With more and more concerns reg: how our children are turning out these days, the househusband (and/or wife) should be applauded for wanting to be at home for their kids, rather than a stranger raising them. Not all of us have maids and even if we did, all should do that part (as J. Tai mentioned in her letter.)
as for the wifely submission, does the word “partnership” ever occur to the writer? It should be a give and take relationship, talk over big decisions and so forth. Any relationship that has one side claiming dominance over the other can’t be a very healthy one, no?
I for one am very proud to be a stay at home mum, it’s not always easy but I like to think Im raising a future generation of men who think nothing of helping out in the house, who thinks helping their mum with their younger siblings, and everyone does the chores, regardless of age/sex, etc are the NORM… After all, they learn from the example of their father who doesn’t bat an eyelid, whether its changing a nappy or whipping up a tasty meal.
I think the idea of flexitime or work from home ideas where both parents can be at home for the kids would be ideal but I think Malaysia is not quite there yet, perhaps in the future 🙂
It is quite amusing (dare I say a little disconcerting perhaps) that someone could relate being a househusband to being less “manly” or effeminate or gay even.. as if to say a real man (read: neandarthal) does not help his wife in any way, he doesnt do chores, pick up kids, anything. I would beg to differ. It takes A REAL MAN to acknowledge he is human with emotions, ups and downs and to be a part of his family’ world, whether its chores or helping with the kids..
I wonder if CTH is actually married and what his wife really thinks… now that would be an interesting idea..